People who don’t know what they want, usually don’t realize that they don’t know what they want, and end up making the wrong decision in their live..and then regret about that decision..and they feel bad about it..
but the more miserable one..are those who know, that they don’t know what they want..and that acknowledgment makes them hardly ever make any choice..they are lost..
Your Birthdate: April 4
You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.
Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.
Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.
You’re level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.
Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics
Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness
Your power color: Navy blue
Your power symbol: Shield
Your power month: April
Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You’re probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
The path that I’m walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps ’til I’m full grown, full grown
Fairytales don’t always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We’ll play jacks and uno cards
I’ll be your best friend and you’ll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
‘Cause I want to hold yours too
We’ll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it’s time for me to go home
It’s getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
La Da Da Da Da Da
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Ini Link gue dapet dari Ferius..coba2..menarik juga..mau taro di about me tapi kok kepanjangan gara2 ada liriknya Padi..so taro sini aja daripada blogs nganggur (lagi males ngeblogs nih :S)
| Your Brain is Green |
 Of all the brain types, yours has the most balance. You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver. You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don’t get stuck in bad thinking patterns. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual). |
wow..its been a very very very long time since the last time I wrote anything to this blogs..its also been long since the last time I visit anyone’s blogs..so why do I suddenly decided to write again??I don’t know..there are no particular reason I just do..as a starter perhaps I’ll write what I’ve been doing today..i wake up at 11..very late, don’t know why its been a habit since this semi-long holy day..some part of it due to my habit of sleeping late at dawn (4:00 am)..then i call my girlfriend using my new bought esia because she didn’t reply my sms for almost 2 days..apparently she is run out of pulsa (well i don’t know what is pulsa in english)..then we had a short chat and zap..the phone is just off..i now guess she really does runs out of pulsa, because recieving a call also require pulsa there(she is in america)..then i was having my lunch (no breakfast)..call ondre to go celebrity fitness..playing emperor while waiting for 4:00 pm (we decided to meet at 4:pm at puri)..after practice at the gym, we went to rachels one night "stay" (not "stand") apartment at aston rasuna (kuningan) to have our diner..meet other friends (there is erick wong and shiely tillie and 2 other rachels friends which i don’t know)..then we go home..now i just finish my bath, and typing at my new buy laptop (not older then one month)..
What exactly i want to write down, i don’t know.. i just let my mind think of anything, then let my fingers follows..well, if you ever watch the sixth sense (by bruce willis and that little famous kid whose name i forgot) there is writing method called free association writing..its simple, u just take a paper, and a pen..and start writing anything that popped up in your head..mind actually is an incredibly creative one..it can think of anything, or everything.. it just came out randomly..have u ever try to stop thinking??try it sometimes, you’ll realize how hard can it be..poeple think not to think is just simply not to think..but we never know if we never try..I’ve try it sometimes..to meditate..keep your mind still..but never really succeed..everything just keep appearing, thoughts that u didn’t even realize u are thinking..some says, being able to set the stillness of mind is being able to release yourself from your ego..but others says that the state of no mind is actually let your mind free (also free from ego), and being a mirror..it grasp a things, but not hold on to it (like reflection from the mirror), you let the mind just flowing freely, not influenced by your logical or systematic thinking..Zen and Taoist practitioner, meditate to achieve enlightenment..Buddhist, especially monks, hold the concept of everyday life is a meditation..while the Moslem’s, use the method of 5 times "sholat" a day to achieve this meditative state of life..as for Christians..i don’t really able to connect these meditation concept with Christians teaching until this day..
So, why does being able to empty your mind is so important..or is it really important..the correct answer.. i don’t know..as a martial artist, according to bruce lee the concept of being empty is being purposeless..its a very important state of mind that every martialist struggle to achieve during a combat by drowning them self to intense martial arts training, and by meditating (of course not all martialist meditate)..the goal is to be empty, to be able to react naturally to every kinds of situation during combat..no matter what kind of attack used by the enemy become unimportant, because u are empty..u didn’t expect anything to come..u just react, at that moment, u are being yourself..u become one with the enemy. But the truth is, u are being empty, there is no perception, there is no enemy, just an attack coming, and u react by blocking, an opening appear, and u hit it..u are being one with the nature..that is the way of a true martialist..i learn this concept from the late infamous bruce lee, from his book, edited by john little (a bruce lee specialist), "Bruce Lee, The Artist Of Life"..but other similar idea is also taught by musashi, the japan greatest swordsman from his book, "The book of five ring"..it stated that, to cut with your sword cannot be different from swinging a pole..and to walk during combat, or to a combat, cannot be different from walking to an amusement park..no tension at all during combat..but the different of the teaching is that, musashi always stressed that in every combat u are, your intention has to be only one, which is to strike down your enemy..every strike must be a killing blow..same principle must be upheld even during practice, because if u don’t, then its not a combat, its a childs play..its a rather different statement with bruce lee’s teaching of being purposeless..which one is the most true teaching..again, i don’t know..my mind is filled with this much concept and idea, but being able to assimilate it, and synthesize a new idea is still way to hard for me..a lot of practice, self introspection, and life experience needed..perhaps those teachings are different..but somehow, i feel that its not..its the same..i don’t know how to formulate it..but i just feel that they are (some spiritualist will say, "the spirits tells me")..in the book of five rings there is a special chapter called "the book of void", and in bruce lee’s, there is "Wu Shin" (No Mind), and "Wu Wei" (No action)..to bad, my study of these two books aren’t yet finished..perhaps I’ll get a better understanding of them after more and more reading..and of course by practicing..
and that was just me explaining the meaning of no mind from the martialist perspective..but how does it applies at daily life??what is the ultimate goal??being able to free self during combat perhaps logically connected to being able to free yourself from your ego during daily life..but can the concept of being yourself can be applied in the same way..in daily life, we tend to not being ourself..some people are so needy of social attention until their action during are not anymore original from their true self..they try to act in a way to show people that this is they really are, but perhaps the actually don’t..attention is what they seek, their goal in relation with others become blurred (this kind of personality called Histrionic in psychiatry)..on the other hand, some people being so confident that they are being them self..they do what they want and stand for what they think is right..until their action considered selfish by the others..and cause a disharmonious to their relationship with others which is not concordant to the concept of being one with the nature..some people’s relationship is based on what advantage can they get..so advantages is their main purpose..they try to put them self in a good position in a society..how??by keeping the goods and ditching the others..this whole way of act during daily life will lead to the next question..what is your purpose of life??because the way you act suppose to be concordant with your purpose of living..if u are not being your self then you are not yet know the purpose of your life..now you can try to ask yourself this question, "am I being myself"? and the next is, "what is my purpose of life"?
So what is my answer???hehehe…
now that is a very long long long entry for a "long time no see" post..I’ve told u, mind can be incredibly creative..the topics above are things that i always love to discuss..with who??mostly with myself (i am a schizoid after all)..well, of course sometimes i discuss it with my fellow martialist, which is my closest friends..but not every little thing..mostly only the one related to martial arts
The next question is..do i hope any people will read this entry??i certainly not..not all wants to spend their time reading a very long long post..so for those who actually read and understands it, you are always welcome to read more and to discuss about it..but for those who doesn’t..u can just think of me talking to myself, then write it down in a post..as the matter of fact, i did stated before that there is no particular reason why i write this blog..it is actually can be considered a result of me talking to myself (well not literally talking)..
"I just think that the greatest things in life shouldn’t be avoided because it come with a few complications."
"Love causes pain, certainly, inevitably. Love is going to lead to as much sorrow and regret as it does joy. I suppose there are perfect ethernal loves out there, but I haven’t see any."
"How you deal with the bad part of love is what determines your character, what determines the dark side of you."
By: Jolee Bindo - Ex-Padawan of the Republican Jedi
Haahh..its suterday…akhirnya bagian anak selesai jugaa..bagian yang aneh, sehari-harinya nyantai..tapi giliran pas deket ujian..Stressnya gak ketulungan..BUT..i have an uncommon luck di bagian anak..Pertama: sejak bagian anak tingkat 4 sampe tingkat 5..gue gak pernah dapet preskas..tingkat 4 cuman komenttor..sedangkan tingkat 5 cuman dapet PSSS..kedua..kalo masalah penguji..tingkat 4 gue dapet yang gak kayak ujian, mahal lebih mudah dari bedside teaching..cuman ditanyain satu hal, trus gue juga gak tau..dan setelah itu ya selesai..gak ditanya apa2 lagi..dan langsug lulus..buset dah…
Di tingkat 5..pertama gue kena ama dosen dari radiology anak..dia baik..dan seharusnya tetep gak masalah..tapi..sehari sebelum hari H..penguji gue diganti dengan yang LEBIH DIIDAM IDAMKAN lagi ama anak2..(si infamous dari bagian neurology anak) pasti anak FK pada tau hehe..yaa..emang sih, bukan brarti pertanyaan die gampang..masih banyak juga yang gue gak kepikiran ngejawabnya..tapi bukannya gue gak tau, cuman kondisi ujian yang bikin otak jadi mandek..sebenrnya udah tau, cuman gak keluar aja :P semua orang bilang gue si Hokky boy..BUT..LET ME TELL U WHAT THE LUCKY BOY HAS TO SAID..despite my luck..bukan brarti gue nyantai2..gue tetep kebangsal sehari sebelum ujian dimulai, ngelakuin survei tentang semua pasien yang ada..setelah pulang gue langsung blajar sampe jam 3 pagi..dan bangun jam 4.15..(dan gue gak yakin selama 1,5 jem itu gue tidur, mungkin cuman merem melek muter kiri kanan)..gue dateng ke bangsal paling pagi..JAM 5.45..dan jem 6 kurang disaat belum ada satu pun mahasiswa lain dateng, gue udah mulai anamnesis..Yes..i might be lucky..but still..i do MORE EFFORT..thus deserve it..Emang sih, ada satu pertanyaan yang gue sama skali gak jawab yaitu MTBS..gue bahkan gak tau kepanjangannya..why??soalnya gue gak fotocopy "barang" itu (ketebelan, bikin bangkrut), jadi gue gak punya..dan gue gak liat kalo dilembar penilaian ada tentang MTBS..maklum, gue adalah orang yang belajar semau gue..tapi kalo gue tau bahwa itu bakal dinilai dan gue punya barangnya juga pasti gue apal..toh isinya sama dengan buku WHO yang tiap hari gue pegang..cuman dibuat dalam versi lokal :S
Humm..okay, there are some interesting things which i learn about children and babies, related to their psycological development..i will describe it here so it will be usefull for anyone who read it, including girls..(future mother)..But..what i write here is just a fraction of the whole knowledge..thus can’t be used as refference, but more as common sense
Psycological:
First 5 years are the most important period for their personality development..at these ages, their brains plasticity are at most (the actual peak is at the age of 3)..when their age reach more then 5, most of their basic personalities are formed, change are still possible, but will take much effort, and it will gets harder when their older..
Do not prohibit your child to play with anything that he/she wanted unless it could endangered him/her..instead, encourage them..always stimulate them to play with anything u got..Child at this age aren’t suitable with rules..they should be let free..any restriction or punishment will have bad long term result..at first, he/she may look like a good discipline controllable child..but as they grow older, u also will see that they will lost some of their confidence, courage, and creativity..of course its not a 2 + 2 = 4 formula, but it does significantly effect their personality
The rules or right handed are a false rule..our brain works in these manner so that the left brain handles mainly logic, memory, verbal understanding, numbers, work systematiclly, and it controls our right side of the body..While the right brain works differently, they controls our left body part and has many role in crativity and some other important feature which i forgot (-_-)..My teacher once ask me :"if u gave a toy to a baby, which hand will they use to take it"..he said, its left..why??Coz child are born to be creative..have u seen a child play??anything can be their toy..anything is possible to them..humans are supose to have a great crativity..thats what makes them the earth conquerer (a little bit off-topic dont u think)..but what does the mother do when she saw a child using their left hand?? "Shoo..use ur right hand instead!!"..they said left hand are for "cebok" (red) hahaha..
DO NOT..seriously..DO NOT ENTER YOUR CHILD TO KINDERGARTEN THAT OFFERS U MULTIPLE LANGUAGE PROGRAM..WHY??Children at this age should be restricted to 2 language only..formal language (B indonesia kalo disini), and Mother language (anything that u use commonly at home: Jawa, Sunda, Inggris, Mandarin, Hokkian)..if u want them to study more..they should start at over 5 years old..coz they need to strengthed their basic language before start to learn the other language..Those kindergarten are only looking for your CASH..they don’t think its effect to the children..this language thingy that i write is suggested by a Child Psyciatry Specialist..so it is valid
Quote:
"Child has one spirit that flows freely..it called "enthusiasm"..When a child is playing..a plastic soldier came to life and a doll can speak..give them a crayon, and they’ll draw anything that comes to their head..when thay are taught that Jesus are God, they came to Him with joy, just because they want to, and they happy to..they have no question, and yet, no doubt"
Learned from Paolo Coelho’s "The Pilgrimage"..why i said learned??because i forgot the exact words 
Sepenggal kata yang gue ambil dari salah satu lagu favorit gue di album Badai Pasti Berlalu..judulnya "pelangi"..Skarang udah skitar seminggu sejak almarhum Chrisye diberitakan meninggal..Kehilangan yang sangat disesalkan..
Sebenarnya, kenapa gue peduli sama berita ini??sejujurnya..segala berita tantang selebritis dan artis artis selalu masuk urutan terbawah - lebih bawah daripada jentik nyamuk di got depan rumah gue - dalam daftar hal-hal yang gue perhatiin di sekitar gue..baik artis luar, apalagi artis indo..kalo temen2 gue lagi gosipin artis, paling gue selalu ngomong "hah??siapa tuh??"..dan saat semua orang pada sibuk bilang "o iyaa..emang si tukul arwana ttuh konyol, gak ngebosenin, kocak" ..dalam hati gue "Mahluk hina dina, tak pantas gue tonton sedikit pun" ..ato saat ada yang nyeletuk "tau gak, si artis ini kawin lagi lhoo"..Ehmmm..not my concern!!..setidaknya, jentik nyamuk lebih pantas gue perhatiin karena mempengaruhi kesejahteraan gue saat ngetik malem2..dan kalo dulu masih piara ikan, berarti ikan2 gue dapet nurtisi yang bagus, protein kualitas tinggi yang bisa bikin warna mereka nyala-nyala!!! (skarang udah enggak sih)
wah..paragraf diatas terlalu ngelantur untuk jadi pembuka yaa..okay, intinya adalah..pas gue denger chrisye meninggal, gue sedih..yah, gak sampe menangis ato merasa gimana gitu sih..tapi yaa..lagu2nya banyak memberi kenangan selama masa2 hidup gue dulu..Pas gue masih kecil (sd ato smp) bokap suka muter lagu2 die..n saat gue mulai gnerti musik, gue akui..lagunya bagus..dan sampe sekarang pun gue berani bilang belum pernah ada..TIDAK SATU PUN..musikus indonesia yang bisa disejajarkan Chrisye (setidaknya itu penilaian gue)..mulai dari band2 yang biasa gue nikmati pas SMA (PADI, DEWA, JAMRUD) sampe akhir2 ini band -band dan artis - artis dadakan yang namanya terkenal tiba2 karena satu dua lagu bagus, (hmm..tapi tidak ditelinga gue) trus menghilang dari dunia permusikan..
Chrisye adalah musikus sejati, dia menyanyi dan menciptakan lagu karena dia memang suka, dan karena dia mengekspresikan jiwa seninya melalui musiknya..die bukan seorang bisnis man..walaupun juga die gak mungkin miskin sih..pernah liat die main iklan2??ato nongol di acara2 lawak murahan??tidak, dia bikin lagu bagus, dia nyanyi, dia bekerja sama dengan orang2 hebat dalam musik, untuk membuat lagu2 yang lebih bagus lagi..itulah sebabnya, gue memberi apresiasi yang tinggi buat musikus satu ini..
Badai pasti berlalu - album die yang paling gue suka..yah, mungkin kebetulan munculnya pas dengan usia gue (SMA) yang baru ngikutin musik..siapa artis indonesia yang bisa menciptakan lagu sekaliber album2 ini??yah, gue gak bilang ini karya dia sendiri..dia bekerja sama dengan banyak orang (erwin gutawa, eros djarot, guruh soekarno putra dan penyanyi2 lain)..tapi album ini bener2 bagus..suatu mahakarya yang gak bakal tejadi dua kali di indonesia ini..
Kala Cinta Menggoda - Salah satu lagu die yang menurut gue paling bagus!!..gak termasuk dalam album badai pasti berlalu, tapi lagu ini sangat bagus..buat yang masih cilik2 mungkin gak bakal tau banyak tentang lagu2 chrisye..dan dengan telinga yang udah terbiasa denger lagu POP barat ato lagu cinta gadungan band2 indo akhir2 ini, mendengar lagu chrisye bakal terasa aneh..
Untukku - juga salah satu lagu die yang gue suka..nadanya mungkin bisa terkesan agak membosankan..tapi kata2nya di reff, juga cara dia menyanyikannya…sangat menyentuh "Walau ke ujung dunia, pasti akan ku nanti…Meski ke tujuh samudra, pasti ku kan menunggu…karena ku yakin..kau hanya untukku"
Sayang, sejak gue kuliah, die udah gak bikin lagu sebanyak itu lagi..tapi masih ada sedikit sih..dan tetap bagus2..berita kematian dia seakan mengingatkan gue lagi ke lagu2nya..dan sekarang gue mulai mendengarkan lagi lagu2 chrisye..
Yaah..mungkin kepada Chrisye, indonesia akan mengucapkan "’s’lamat berpisah - kenangan cinta" .."tiada lagi melodi dapat kucipta tanpa senyummu"
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Anyway..its been quite long since my last entry..Well..pediatrics is in exam week..i just been through my MCQ test..well..i don’t think i get bad mark..but i believe i could be better..some of my friends said that most of the question derived from "appleton" which i don’t read at all..Damn..guess not my lucky one..if i read appleton..i don’t even have to understand the material to get good marks..just memorized the answer and good marks is in hand..getting a good marks in idealistic way imuch harder, but actually possible..i’f my head not keeps falling to the book while i’m reading it..looks like the key to success is being a coffee addict..well..that is something i try to aviod..coz i don’t think its good for my health to become a coffee addict..but if thats what it takes..perhaps i’ll take the risk..Its always been a conflict in my mind, about health and ambition..but perhaps thats the attitude that i must take in order to achieve my goal.. - "I’ll tear my body apart to be strongger" - ..Oyama practice 12 hours a day in the mountian for years to become the stronggest man in the modern world..musashi climb a stiff cliff with swollen infected foot to defeat his own self unsatisfaction..
now, there is only two exam to go..Case test, which i must use english at disccussion session..and O.S.C.E..
And by the way, my B’day just past by..exactly at 4 april 1984..funny, many people said 4 a bad number, but i’ll take it as my lucky number..and i don’t know..is it because of my age..or my concern are different now..but i’m not that enthusiatic about my B’day celebration..its just a first day at my 23rd years in this world..and it happens to be rite a day before the MCQ test..a great way to enjoy B’day eh..hehehe..but it still enjoyable..ppl greet u with smile..SMS keeps coming..prove that many still care about u..and a the "only one" surprise card (Which is almost a week earlier xP ) that has made my day along with herseys and - - - - for the birthday boy ^__________^
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Ooo…and my crazy sister..she is just cooking some instant bihun..and that freak teasing me by put it right in front of the fan that blow to me..so i can smell its tasty aroma..but cannot eat it..Darn you Lil crazy sis!!!
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This week quote: Generally, men overreport thair height, and woman underreport their weight - from the artikel "Short Stature" at Emedicine
I said: an awfull truth!!Hahahahaha……. :P :P
Stase anak di Tangerang itu CAPEEEEEEEEEKKK…emang udah seminggu sejak gue dari sana sih, tapi baru skarang aja gue pengen cerita hehehe…tangerang itu di bagian anak cumkan seminggu, dan kita dibagi dalam dua paviliun, paviliun anyelir (kelas VIP, 1, 2, 3) dan Paviliun Kemuning (kelas 3 only, plus satu yang semi di-ICU-kan), nah seperti apa kedua paviliun itu, bakal gue ceritain skalian dengan pengalaman pa gue disono
hari pertama sampe hari ketiga gue kebagian di Anyelir..Suasananya enak, ruangannya bersih dan bagus, pake AC dan kita punya ruang diskusi dimana privacy kita para ko-as terjamin, baik dari pasien maupun perawat..Errr..sebenernya, perawat disini rata2 baik, dan segalak apapun mreka, toh kita gak terlalu banyak brurusan sama mereka dalam hal kerjaan utama kita yaitu Followup..TAPIIII..ada satu suster BRENGSEK yang berbicara sama koas kayak bicara sama maling yang ketangkep basah di rumahnya, kayak kita orang bersalah, bentak kiri-kanan…yaah, harusnya sih itu udah biasa ditelinga kita, karena kita juga tau kok watak2 suster di RS pemerintah, JARANG YANG RAmAH!!!makanya pasien juga gak betah..SAYANGNYA die melakukan kesalahan, yaitu die membentak2 GUE..dan gue gak terima dibentak2, masak sekolah dokter tahun kelima, udah gelar drs. Med masih dibikin kayak sampah ama suster..pertama gue cuek, gue tinggal, masuk ruang diskusi, tapi setelah gue duduk..tiba-tiba HATI RASANYA TIDAK SENANG!!jadilah gue samperin balik si suster dan bentak2 habis juga, diakhiri dengan "KALO NGOMONG JANGAN KURANG AJAR!!" dan Bantingan pintu ruang diskusi pas gue ninggalin tuh mbak suster..Semenjak itu, gak pernah die brani walaupun cuman sekedar ngomong ke anak2 koas, dan lucunya hari selasa dan rabu gue bahkan gak liat tampangnya..kayanya kali ini die kena batu
Okey, cukup tentng suster itu..hari2 brikutnya disana dilanjutkan dengan ronde, dan rondenya tuh NGAREEEEET banget..Jam 1 baru mulai, so kita paginya bermalas2an juga gapapa hehe..ronde pertama n ketiga dokter anaknya sangan KINCLONK!!!kalung segede-gede gaban kayak orang gipsi, dandan poles dempul, badan kayak ibu2 gendut tapi pake kaos ketat dan celana banjir..rondenya ANEEEEH skali..die ngasih terapi tuh kaya gak liat status, lebih mirip orang jualan obat dengan merk-merk obat beterbangan dari mulutnya..tapi yah, disamping itu, die punya satu nilai plus, yaitu die pinter!!dan cukup baik karena mau ngajarin kita, terutama dalam hal pola pikir2…yaah…dokter yang agak dilematis
Dokter yang ronde dihari kedua sangaaat berbeda jauh, baik rondenya maupun dokternya memiliki style yang sangat kita kenal seperti ronde di RSCM..dan die juga sangat baik, memperhatikan status n kerjaan kita, ngajarin kita satu2..salut juga buat dokter ini..
Hari ke 4 kita udah mulai switch ke kemuning…dan disini, segala2nya beda…kerjaan kita bakal lebih berarti karena PPDS sangat memperhatikan status bikinan kita, dan SANGAT CAPEEEEEK..bayangin, PPDSnya itu mau ronde pagi2 jem 7 - 1/2 8..so what did I do??..malem jm 11 gue ke bangsal bikin draft follow up pasien gue buat besok pagi, biasanya selesai jm setengah satu..terus tidur, n paginya jem 5 gue udah harus mulai follow up, so pas PPDSnya dateng kerjaan udah selesai..bener2 parah, untungnya karena mulainya pagi, selesainya juga cepet, so banyak waktu tidur siang *Fiuuuhhh…
Di kemuning ini sialnya adalah, gue dapet kamar 1, yang paling deket dengan kamar kerja, dan karena posisinya yang strategis, kamar itu diisi oleh pasien2 yang GAWAT!!!biar gampang diawasi..so agak di-ICU-kan (Intensive Care Unit)..jadilah kasus2nya tuh pengobatanya banyak yang "beyond my reach"..nulisin obat yang dikasih aja udah panjang banget..untung kerjaan gue masih lancar2 aja…
and actualy there is this one patient that has a very complicted matters..a boy, 4 ang a half years old, weight 11 Kg, has been attended to RSUT since last week with working diagnosis meningoensefalitis TB refering to his LCS study (BTW I’m the one who perform his lumbal punture, V^______^V ), his GCS (Glasgow Coma Scale - conciousness score) is 8 (the range is 3-16, normal ppl should have 16 GCS), complicated with a severe fever 40o celcius (almost Hiperpireksia - 41,1o C), hiperventilated, and tachycardia..in short, he has meningoensefalitis TB with Sepsis..this one pasient really frustrated me..his fever wont heal, and he keeps shaking, despite 3 kinds of antipiretic agent has been administer in a relatively high dose and frequency…(Novalgin, Parasetamol po, and Ibuprofen supp)..he got 2 kinds of antibiotics..and i don’t know what else can be done..warm compress has also been performed, but his whole body is as hot as a toaster..i handled this patient 2 days with this condition..and at the third day, the worst happen..his extrimities are cold, his Blood presure is droping, he became more and more hiperventilated, despite of his cold legs and arms..his torso is still like a toaster..He is going into a septic shock condition..so we administer dopamin and dobutamin to support his cardiovascular and renal function, and load him with Normal salin to keep his hydration status adequate..whats worst, his breath start to weakening..so from 7.30, i Pump his breath with a bagging tools..do it for almost two hours..luckily soon my friends job are finish and they can replace me for a while..this patient is supose to be at ICU, but there is no room..so there is nothing we can do accept maintaining his heart and lung function…at noon, pass my working time, which by then he is handled by my friends..he passed away..well..no regrets..his conditions are worst and we have done everythings possible..i guess we never leave tangerang without the scent of the dead..hehehe
Last nite i’ve just watch grey’s anatomy with my sister..4 first episode..I decided to try to watch it coz many of my fellow med-student says its a good TV series, and i thuoght "Hei, i’m a 5th years med-student, perhaps watching it may serve me some good purpose"..so now i’m gennao give some of my early comments..both about the medecine technicly and the "film" aspect" of it..Well, perhaps 4 episode its to early to judge the whole content of the movie, but who said i was gonna..
so here it is..
The Film it self is quite good..not VERY good, just QUITE..i like the part where it can realy describe how live is as an intern..its a TORTUROUS!!!48 hours without sleep..eat junck food..enslaved by your senior who act like a boss..doing silly things like taking and organizing the lab result..always run to the scene everytime ur pager is beeping, and sometimes for a silly reason..Missed your own party when everyone is having fun at your house, and u cannot make it home coz you are stuck at the horpital for some CITO (emergency) operation..got alittle bit "kuper" coz in a week, the only ppl u see is those who work with u at the hospital..but u can’t say a thing about the slavery coz they (the resident doctors) actualy kinda decided your live and dead at the hospital..they taught u, work with you, recommended u for promotion..and they expect hard work!!
The only downside of this movie, sometimes i think, it need just aliiiitle thrill..coz at some points, it can be boring..and its not good for a series
Now we move on to the TECHNICAL aspect!!!at the first episode, they got a case..a girl, 15 years old, having a "grand mall"siezures..(i actualy forgot whats the grand mall stands for) with no history of trauma "yet" to be found..brought with a helycopter (I WISH WE HAD ONE AT RSCM!!!!) and directly send to the surgical division..wait a minute..WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE DOING IN SURGICAL DIVISION..normaly SHE IS SUPOSE TO BE AT PEDIATRICS DIVISION..the pediatricians will be the one who handeled the patients, thinking about the diagnosis, and decided what to do with her..if any surgical treatments are needed, then she will be consulted to the the surgeon, and will be transfer is the case is turn out to be a surgeons case..NEXT,,having a siezure they give him 10 mg intramuscular injection of diazepams..my question is, WHY INTRAMUSCULAR??it supose tobe INTRAVASCULAR, and if u can’t get into the iv line (intravenous line) u gave her rectal diazepam..NEXT..she is attended for siezures with no history of trauma or fever, and they decided to run CT scan..HELOO!!! she should be runing EEG test, the Working Diagnosis of this case should be Epileptic siezures..why the hell is CT scan is the first in their head..Okey, lets move on again shall we..the CT is proved to be just fine, so does the blood test, but she is still having siezures..after a carefull history taking, it is then known that she is a dancer (actualy somthing starts with "P", but i forgot what is it, so i just call her dancer) and had a history of a minor trauma while training (not right before the siezures), but no complains and she was doing just fine..so they thought with any chance, she is having as intracranial hemorage, and so decided to run a CT angiography..and yes!!they are right, congrats..she is have a minor subarachniod hemorage..and has to be operated..BUT!!!if she realy having a subarachnoid hemorage, then the first CT-SCAN alone should have got it!!but the first CT is clean..i dont get it whose fault is this, perhaps they got one lame radiologist reading the CT-scan and can’t identify a subarachniod hemorage with a CT-scan alone..
Okey, and the last thing is..for commoners, if u watch a scene where there is a patient with a flat electrocardiogram (ECG), and they start to cast some "LIGHTING BOLT SPELL" right to the patients chest..i’ll tell u, its BULLSHIT!!!..Defibrilator (the lighting bolt spell) is used only in two cases, VF(ventricular fibrilation) or VT(ventricular tachycardia) ECG, not on flat (asystole) ECG..if flat ECG is what u get, then u should resusitate the heart and lung and administer some shympatomimetic agents (i’m not going into details, there is a protocol for this situation alone)..U DON’T cast LIGHTING BOLT..its a waste of mana..err..wrong..a waste of force power..err wrong again, i played to may games lately
okey..thats for the comments..
Its now sundays, there is a Kyokushinkai karate tournament held at binus, and i’m planin to watch it with my fellow martialist.. a full contact bare hands fighting, that is something, hehehe ;D
Ooo..and atlast..THiS COMPUTER IS WELL FIXED!!!U don’t know what kind of misery i have, with this computer keep erroring all the time..but now its all good, so i’ll reborrow the KOTOR Starwars CDs from bertus and reinstall it, and play..long live the sithlo….err no REPUBLIC!!!!!HAHAHAHAHA
and BTW, i just got a SWEEEEEEEEEEETTT surprise from my recently recieve e-mail..Its a strawberry..and "only one"…and it makes me ^_______________________________^
